The Bus Driver's Lament

From The Cynglish Beat, by Tim Reynolds. 2009.

THE BUS DRIVER’S LAMENT

Bitch and whine all you like, but here’s the bus driver’ side of the sordid story:
If you want to get him going, get her off on a transiting tangent, simply ask about...

Jammed up, crammed up, nerve-fraying rush hour traffic;
Perfume-bathers and their throat-tearing, eye-tearing, floral-acid stench;
Shower-avoiders and their throat-tearing, eye-tearing, armpit-acid stench;

Traffic-jamming bus stop parkers;
Unfair fare scammers;
Seat-slicing vinyl vandals;

Drunk punks, hammered homeless, sloshed salesmen, bombed bitches in come-fuck-me pumps;

Junior high flirts with senior high cleavage;
University girls full of their own self-importance... and senior high cleavage;

Old buses that can’t climb hills in the sweltering summer burn;
Old ladies who can’t walk or hold on but just have to shuffle shuffle shuffle past six empty seats to sit at the back while... we... all... wait;

Cranky old schedule-memorizing clock-watchers late for mall-walking club;

Turn-signal-challenged yahoos, idiots and gene-pool-cleansing dumb-fucks;

Bottle-pickers with torn and tattered, beer-leaking, plastic bags of recyclable refuse;

Bicycles needing rides but no bike rack to oblige;

Jaywalkers stepping out and bike messengers swerving in;

Toxin-smoking, cloud-wearers dragging fumes on board to share with one and all;

And iPod isolationists cutting off the world at volume beyond understanding.

Then there’s the upside, the side that makes a driver drive, an operator operate...
Kids from college full of knowledge and educational enthusiasm;
Toddlers full of giggles and wiggles and moms glad to just sit for a bit;
Seniors glad to be out and about and commuters glad to sit back and relax...and let
someone else deal with Rush Hour Madness;

Homeless folk happy for a warm ride and a welcoming stranger’s smile;

And harried, clock-challenged, bus-chasers thankful for a driver who saw and stopped
and gracefully accepted their gratitude before taking them on down the road, home.
~~~